Moments of Quiet Truth

What do you do when you're waiting for something? What do you do when you've been waiting for the same thing for a very long time? . . . .      I find myself pulling out my computer and doing more writing and on a more regular basis this last week than I have consistently done so in a very long time. I've been storing up stories and thoughts and perhaps speaking these things to others but not preserving them on 'paper.' That is changing and I'm glad. I feel as though I'm beginning to write what I've been waiting to write and I pray I don't stop.       I have found myself in a season of waiting for the fulfillment of several dreams and desires, some lasting over a decade and some for just a few years. It has been a time of preparation, a time of learning to trust, learning better to be still, of learning who I am with God. We all go through these seasons.      I stand on the brink, the precipice, at the edge of the ocean of something new...

"though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more; circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless.  But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of  Christ. Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I might gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection fr...

      I've never done this before - leave everything behind with no clear idea of how long I'll be gone or what I'll be coming back to. I have one week left Stateside and departure is coming up soon. I've settled here, albeit with a loose grip. I know that I will not be the same person who steps off that plane or out of that car months from now that I am right now, regardless of the duration of the stay abroad. The thought both terrifies and exhilarates me.  In a very real way, I'm facing some of the challenges that so many missionaries before me have faced as they considered leaving behind their homes and loved ones.      I am torn between sadness and excitement. Sadness at leaving behind the loved and familiar people and places I've been surrounded by these past few years, mountains included. Excitement at everything new I'll experience.      I am soo looking forward to the growth, the maturing, the stretching (ouch!) that I will e...

     I have been reading my way through the gospel of Luke and one thing that Luke points out again and again is that the disciples were prevented, kept from understanding Jesus' prophecies about how he would die and that he would rise. I'm currently reading in chapter 24 and Luke mentions that the two disciples on the road to Emmaus were kept from recognizing Jesus.      During their meal with Jesus, the two Emmaus disciples,  Cleopas and his companion, had their eyes were opened to recognize Him. When Jesus appeared to the assembled disciples that evening in Jerusalem, Luke states that Jesus opened the minds of the disciples to understand the Scriptures concerning Himself. They did not understand what He told them when He was with them before His crucifixion and resurrection because He kept them from that understanding. Luke is very careful to point this out. A divinely given 'blindness,' if you will, seems to be the cause of this.     ...

     Today sees the removal of what was my main source of personal transportation - my car. It has gotten to the point that it would cost the amount that I paid for the car in repairs in order to keep it running and for who knows how much longer. Another tie to Colorado 'snipped.'      It seems that the Lord has been 'snipping ties' to Colorado these last few months, preparing the way for me to fly into what He has for me next. My housing has always been temporary here. My vehicles have come and gone and now my job has found my replacement as I prepare to leave the country for 6 months. The 'divine restlessness' that I mentioned in a previous post has been replaced with a sense of both uncertainty and peace - peace about what I'm stepping into and peace about what I'm leaving behind.      Ever since my twelve-year-old self was informed that our family was leaving the small, 'Mayberry-like' town I grew up in to head to the largest city in ...

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,   And why are you in turmoil within me?   Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,   My salvation and my God." Psalm 42:5,11; 43:5 Broken dreams:      There are seasons in life when we hold tenaciously to what we consider to be the ideal. We wait for it, work for it, ask for it, even demand that our understanding of what is best come to pass. The danger in our pursuit can be that we make the ideal an idol and our understanding becomes a demand, rather than a request of God. When God doesn't deliver what we want when we want it we begin to wonder what's taking Him so long! Frustration becomes a temptation when things don't work out the way WE want them to.      Our desires can be for good things, godly things, but when those desires become more important to us than the One who gave them, we have a major problem. Often during these times of pursuing our ideal become times of not pursuing our relation...

The Lord has been gracious to me.      At several junctures in my life,  the 'what has been' and 'what will be' meet at the crossroads of 'what is.' These crossroads are periods of transition, of 're-construction' or 'renovation,' if you will. As I approach them, the Lord will give me sign posts to let me know they are coming. I know that as I step into them, the outcome will alter my reality and that my life will not look the same after I pass through them. I know that I am soon approaching and am almost upon one of these crossroads.      In my experience, the sign posts have been internal. The best way I can describe them are periods of what I would call 'divine restlessness.' There is an unsettled-ness, almost an anxious anticipation about what's coming. I know that change is up ahead. My mental and emotional grip on what has been 'normal' begins to loosen. The supports for what has been the 'status quo' are slo...

     This last week brought about a set of circumstances that I was not expecting. The long-term visa that I had applied for found its application denied due to a lack of sufficient funds for the duration of my stay overseas.      I was to get my passport back the middle of the week and was anticipating purchasing my plane ticket for my 6-month stay outside the US. I did indeed receive my passport. What I was not expecting was the letter denying my request for the visa necessary to stay longer than the 90 days that my passport allows. Things suddenly came to a screeching halt. I could not purchase my ticket until I knew I would be able to stay the whole time I had planned to. The letter stated that I could contest the embassy's decision but it could take them two months to get back to me. I leave in less than one.      I shot off a series of emails to the organization that I will be working with in France, to inform them of the situation ...