Before the sunrise

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"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Ps. 30:5

     When life is confusing and hard, where can I turn? When the questions don't have answers, how do I move forward, confident of His leading? Can I? When I give up fighting hard things, how do I pick the shield and sword back up and begin to fight anew? Where do I look for my battle tactics? When life seems darkest, when my limitations, weaknesses, and failures confront me, when all of life screams at me, but God seems silent, where do I find hope? When I'm in the dark before the sunrise, where do I find light - In my need of Him, in His promises, in His peace, in His people. 

      It takes the times of weeping in the dark before the joy of the dawn for me to see my need of Him. This is the season of life He has given me right now. He is continuing His humbling work of grace and growing my understanding for my need of dependence on Him. I may not have all the answers to my questions. I don't have to. He reserves the prerogative to know. He asks for a submissive heart for today, for right now.

      He has answered prayer. He has sent His Spirit to shine the light of His understanding into the fog of my mental ruminating. He has sent friends who have supported, given perspective, not judged my responses, and who. have. prayed. for. me. He has given me the privilege to glimpse His workings of grace throughout the lives of my friends. He has sent godly counselors in friends, my pastors, and parents to help me navigate this tricky road called life. He has given me a period of weeping and struggle, but He. will. give. me. joy. "Don't doubt in the dark what you know to be true in the light." He. will. give. me. joy. He. will. give. you. joy.

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