Inadequate

-
"Who is sufficient for these things?"

      I feel as though the tapestry of what my life looked like is coming apart - unraveling. I feel as though the clay pot that was my normal has shattered and I'm standing in the middle of the pieces, not quite sure which one to pick up first. . . . .Let me explain.

      I'm standing on the verge of a life-revolutionizing journey, two months away from the unknown. The structure and comfort and 'normal' of what I've known these past 26 years will be gone. (chuckles) I can't wait! I will be on my own for the very first time in my life. Family and friends will be an ocean away. And have I mentioned that I'm terrible of taking care of myself on my own?

     But the mind-blowing thing is - I'll get to meet my God face to face and see His love and care for me in ways I've never imagined. I'll get to know my God, who He is to me! I'll be on my own - alone - but with Him! I'm both terrified of Who I'll meet and yet skin-bursting excited and can't wait for it anticipating it.

     My clay pot might be shattered, but it's a good thing, it's an exciting thing. He makes all things new and fresh and full of life! He gets to put me back together in a stunningly beautiful way. He's got this because He has me.

    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Holy Spirit, Jesus, Home, Abide

-
     A bide, remain, make yourself at home with God. These concepts have seemed so vague, so nebulous, so far out of reach or the realm of possibility that I, like so many, have passed over them, in despair that they will never be my reality. And, yet, there is this insatiable hunger, this insatiable hope that these things could be my reality. I feel like I was handed most, but not all of the puzzle pieces in my training of what a 'relationship' with God needs to look like for this to indeed be a reality for me.       The invitation of Jesus to abide, as it is found in John 15, was set in the context, in the sermons I heard growing up, of obedience. If I obey, then I can prove my love to Jesus. If I obey, then I have earned a spot at the Table. If I obey, then I have earned the privilege of abiding. I think I had it grossly backwards. We don't abide because we've obeyed. We obey because we are abiding.       This truth wasn't emphasized growing up, even going th
Read more

Waiting

-
Image
     T hat moment when God pulls back the curtain of uncertainty and shows you truth. . . . .when God answers questions that have long run the track of your mind, questions that have caused heart angst and heaviness. . . . that moment when God shows you just the next step, after waiting long for it  . . . . that moment happened tonight. He pointed me in the direction I should go and told me to walk therein. He put some puzzle pieces in place and gave me peace about them, peace that is possible in the face of an uncertain tomorrow. He closed my heart to certain possibilities, showed me ones I still need to surrender to Him, and opened my heart to others - to waiting..      I think that waiting is the biggest puzzle piece He showed me tonight. It doesn't make sense that waiting can be something so definite and concrete, but it is. It's the next step, the next rock to leap to in the stream, the next pavement stone to tread on the path that leads to His front door. God doesn
Read more

Pieces of Home

-
Image
    The Lord has me in the middle of moving yet again in this beautiful state of Colorado.  I have now moved as many times since coming to Colorado as I have over the course of my life before - 7 times before and 7 times since moving here = 14 times. (My sister calls me the Colorado nomad. I have to smile.)      I’m not sure why the Lord hasn’t allowed me to get too comfortable here. It is very unsettling to not have a place to plant your feet and say, “This is home.” I’ve learned to think, “This is home for now,” and just roll with it. (For some reason,  this last move has been so much harder on me than any of the previous moves and I can’t pinpoint exactly why.  I have struggled more with discouragement and a sense of not knowing where I belong, feeling lost and alone.)       In the middle of all of the moving, packing and unpacking, relocating and re-orienting, I realize that there a certain little things that help provide a sense of home and normalcy for me in the differen
Read more