Holy Spirit, Jesus, Home, Abide

     Abide, remain, make yourself at home with God. These concepts have seemed so vague, so nebulous, so far out of reach or the realm of possibility that I, like so many, have passed over them, in despair that they will never be my reality. And, yet, there is this insatiable hunger, this insatiable hope that these things could be my reality. I feel like I was handed most, but not all of the puzzle pieces in my training of what a 'relationship' with God needs to look like for this to indeed be a reality for me. 

     The invitation of Jesus to abide, as it is found in John 15, was set in the context, in the sermons I heard growing up, of obedience. If I obey, then I can prove my love to Jesus. If I obey, then I have earned a spot at the Table. If I obey, then I have earned the privilege of abiding. I think I had it grossly backwards. We don't abide because we've obeyed. We obey because we are abiding. 

     This truth wasn't emphasized growing up, even going through college. Emphasis was put on outward conformity to a list of external expectations. As long as you lived how others thought you should, you were acceptable, both to God and to others. 

Christianity, for much of my life was given the label, ‘relationship,’ but treated like an academic pursuit. You’re supposed to believe and assent to these things for salvation, so that you are acceptable to God and to other people, and so that God will let you into heaven and into eternal life, which is the best thing in all the world. I mean, who doesn’t want to go to heaven? Who doesn’t want a friend who’s never going to leave you? And, who doesn’t want a friend who’s going to orchestrate the events of your life for your good? I mean, these are all perks! But what was missing was heart, what was missing was the reality of relationship, what was missing was, “I’m not just talking into the air when I pray, but I have Someone very close who was listening.” And those aren’t just words - that’s a daily reality. What was missing was an openness to discussing, I think in large part, the third person of the Trinity - the Holy Spirit. What was missing was the freedom to talk to Him like you would any other individual, to treat Him like your best friend, to allow Him freedom and access into your heart and mind and to transform you.

     The Holy Spirit was someone who was largely ignored growing up. People who had a relationship with the Holy Spirit, to whom He gave gifts like prophetic dreams and tongues, and words of wisdom, and knowledge, and understanding, were treated as weirdos, outsiders, and as people on the fringes to be ignored and avoided, because ‘relationship with the Holy Spirit, if it looks like that, was way too subjective for our comfort zone, thank you very much. Let’s keep it clear, cold, and controlled. Relationship with God needs to look the way we think it should. Or else, you need to be suspicious of it,’ we were told. What I fear I’ve been missing for so long, being of an academic bent, and yet having this insatiable hunger for more, more of a relationship, more of a living, breathing, hot-blooded relationship with a Person rather than just an academic assent, was the Holy Spirit. He points to the Father and the Son and brings truth to mind and to bear. He gives you the ability, grace, and courage to relax with this person called, “God,” this Creator of the universe and Sovereign over time and space. He connects you with this person called, “Jesus,” who you’ve never met before in your life. I mean, He lived 2,000 years ago, for crying out loud and 2,000 years is a really long time to reach back and actually touch flesh and blood. It can seem like such a stretch to believe that there was this Person called Jesus and He’s still alive and that this one Person can change the course of human history. And yet, with all his majesty and all His power, being high and holy, He also dwells with those who have a lowly and contrite heart. “A bruised reed He will not break, a smoldering wick He will not put out.” This person that I’ve never met before is incredibly gentle. Peter talks about this in his first chapter, “Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.” 

  The Holy Spirit brings Jesus into the realm of reality, for me. The Holy Spirit opens my understanding. He invites me to let go of the tight control I have on my thinking and my heart that keep me from allowing these things to be true. I can become so empirical, if that’s the right word, in my assessment. I can become like a doubting Thomas - “Unless I can put my hands in his hands and touch His side, I will not believe.” What is belief? What is faith? Where does it come from? (give you one guess)

“In Christ” 

     If you've believed, if you've trusted, then you're in Christ. You’re surrounded by, engulfed by Him.

If I’m to remain with, stay with, make my home with, make myself at home with God - the One whom I'm 'in,' what does that look like? I’m told to read my Bible and pray every day, but how do the words on the page, the black ink on cream-colored paper, how do those words become life to me? How do those words become gifts of God to me? How do those words encourage and build a relationship in more than just an abstract, academic way? 

     They come to life through relationship with the Holy Spirit. He’s been residing with me a long time - 29 years of my life, perhaps. But it wasn’t really until Colorado, just a few years ago, when He gave me the gift of tongues, that I really began a relationship with Him. And then He brought people into my life who ‘get it.’ They don’t treat Christianity as conformity to rules and other people’s expectations of how you should live, but as a relationship with the Holy Spirit and with Jesus. Oh, and He’s another One I’ve been kind of afraid of growing up. This perfect human being who’s everything that I’m not. How do you have a relationship with someone like that? What words do you read to get a grasp of His humanity? You read the book of Hebrews and He was made like me in every way and that’s really hard to believe. He’s God. But He cried out to the Father with loud cries and tears. He had to be made like His brothers in every way so that He could be a sympathetic high priest. I think I need to get to know this human, Jesus. I think I need to get to know this Holy Spirit who introduces me to Him. I need to grow in my relationship with this Being, this God, so that I can be at home with Him.